Is it okay to use personal stories in my business presentations?
I give speeches, and I was told not to tell personal stories. Is this right?
My customers don’t care about me personally. Do they?
As a motivational speaker and strategic storytelling expert, these are the questions I hear often from people in business who want to use story to connect and engage with their listener. Many of us have been taught to listen more than we speak – to focus on them not us – to stick to the features and benefits. The result? A bunch of overly polished data-driven presenters who get lost in the shuffle of a loud noisy market. Today’s buyer, employee, market, consumer (whomever you want to influence) values authenticity now more than ever. Real connection on a personal level is what helps us beat the competition and create an experience that makes them choose us every time.
I saw this play out beautifully in my own business. Watch the video to hear the story and then I’ll give you some pointers to take away.
So how do we tell personal stories in business?
That’s a big question with a lot of different answers. But for today, let’s just focus on the basics and keep this simple. Here is one easy way to incorporate your personal story into the presentation you are giving.
- Look at the problem you are solving for the one you’re talking to. The pain that you help them ease, or the desire you help them reach.Example: I help speakers tell better stories in their presentations so they can connect and engage better on stage to make more money and get bigger bookings.
- Find the emotion related to this pain or desire. How does it make them feel to have this pain, or want this desire?Example: Speakers feel frustrated and discouraged because they get passed over for bookings, and desire to have a bigger spotlight and make more money.
- Look at your own life for a moment to a time when you had those same feelings.Example: I remember feeling that way when I was a new speaker. I remembered feeling so frustrated because I knew I was good, I knew I had something to say, I knew I could do this, I just wasn’t sure HOW. I dreamed of standing on that big stage in front of thousands of people and having them hang on every word I said. I dreamed of selling all my books in the back and having them line up to shake my hand.
Or: I remember feeling passed over as a kid. Whether it was a school dance, a play, or dodge ball, I remember the feeling of always being the last one chosen.
Bingo. You have a personal experience that relates to your listener. We connect based on emotion. This is the bridge to the connection – the pain/desire and emotion related to it.
Note: It’s not a story yet. It’s just the idea for one. A story happens when you insert a conflict and a resolution.
- Determine the conflict and the resolution (solution) in the story. Clearly define the lesson learned from this conflict.Example: My conflict as a new speaker was not getting the gigs I wanted. So I hired a coach who helped me find what was missing. My business soared as a result. I learned the value in hiring someone who knew the business and could see things that I couldn’t.
Or: I spent years being the outcast as a kid. Until I stopped focusing on others and started focusing on my own gifts. And then one day, others began to see my gifts too. I became so good they couldn’t ignore me.
- Tie it in to the action step you want your listener to take.Example: So if you are a new speaker, and you’re tired of being passed over. I get it. I know what you’re going through. I went through it myself. And maybe what you need is someone standing outside your business, who can see things you can’t. That’s what I do. I help people figure out what’s missing so they can get the bigger stages they deserve.
Or: Maybe you’re sitting there feeling just like I did – worried about what others think – feeling less than because you were passed over. If this is you, then I’m here to whisper in your ear that you matter. You have a gift. They just don’t see it yet. Stop focusing on them and the jobs you’re not getting, and focus on YOU. Become so good they can’t ignore you. And I can show you how.
As you can see, it’s not that complicated. You are simply finding a personal experience that mirrors what your listener/buyer/consumer/employee/audience/patient is going through. Once they see that you understand their pain, you have a human connection. Now you have earned the right and created the trust to share your truth.
So to answer the question, yes, business is personal.
Need more help? Read The Story Formula and learn how to write hundreds of compelling business stories on your own. So you can reach a higher level of influence – one story at a time.